From Barbie to Bond: Could Greta Gerwig be the First Bond Girl Director?

Barbie Director Greta Gerwig Interested in Directing Bond 26

Roll up the red carpet, folks! Or should that be the pink carpet? Greta Gerwig, the prodigy behind the box-office bonanza Barbie, might just become the master puppeteer of the next James Bond flick. Put your martinis down and take a minute to wrap your heads around it. A dame on the deck of the 007 franchise? Why, it’s enough to make old Ian Fleming himself do a double-take.

Fresh off her triumph with Barbie, our lady of the hour has become a veritable force of nature in the cinematic universe, a whirlwind blowing away all the usual suspects. Christopher Nolan and his Oppenheimer couldn’t keep up with the Barbie storm, although it is the school summer holidays.

Now, the grapevine’s been buzzing louder than a shaken, not stirred, martini. Could Greta Gerwig be the next capo di tutti capi for our very own James Bond? If she cracks the whip, she won’t be just another filmmaker. She’ll be the first ever gal boss of MI6’s finest. Oh, the sheer audacity of it!

And what does Gerwig herself have to say about this, you ask? Well, sit back, because it’s as cheeky as a Roger Moore eyebrow raise. On Inside Total Film podcast, when asked about her chance of giving us the next Bond spectacle, Greta was cool as a cucumber, tossing us a riddle instead of an answer.

“Oh my God. We’re going to just stick with some lions and some dolls for the moment. But you never know. I really like Barbara Broccoli, so…”

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Decode the cipher and you get this: Greta’s basking in the success of her doll – the worldwide sensation, Barbie, and she’s set her sights on the jungle next, a double scoop of Chronicles of Narnia. But never say never again, because she’s got a soft spot for the queen bee of 007, Barbara Broccoli.

So the question still stands: will Gerwig lead Bond to his next rendezvous? Will our beloved secret agent bow to the whip of a woman? The proposition is tantalizing enough to make you want to bet your last poker chip on it.

The Name’s Bond, Barbie Bond: A Tantalizing Blend of Plastic and Martini

Now, just for kicks, let’s venture into a world where Greta does driect the next Bond flick and introduces a collision of the worlds of Barbie and Bond. A cinematic mashup akin to a martini garnished with a pink umbrella – sounds utterly ridiculous, but oh so fun!

Picture this: Barbie – always immaculate, always smiling – now trading her Malibu Dreamhouse for an MI6 bunker. Ken is out, and a suave tuxedo-clad action figure is in. From strolling the beachfront to sprinting across rooftops, our favorite doll is suddenly living life in the fast lane.

Every iconic Bond trope gets a Barbie makeover. The Aston Martin DB5? Make way for a hot pink supercar, complete with hidden missile launchers and the works. M, the stern taskmaster? Now a tech-savvy Teresa doll, handling a crisis with one hand while fixing her impeccable hair with the other.

Imagine Barbie in the iconic gun barrel sequence, her silhouette gliding across the screen. She turns, fires a shot, and winks. The blood trickles down, but it’s bright pink, a playful jab at the franchise’s machismo.

Her escapades take her to the most glamorous locales around the globe. She’s skiing down the Swiss Alps in a couture snowsuit one day and surfing Hawaiian waves in a glittering wetsuit the next.

Bond’s notorious womanizing? Barbie flips it on its head. She has a Ken in every port, each more plastic and perfectly coiffed than the last. Yet, they’re as disposable as a change of outfits – Barbie’s mission always takes priority.

Barbie’s arsenal gets an upgrade too. Lipstick stun gun? Check. Compact mirror that doubles as a hacking device? You bet. High-heeled shoes with hidden blades? Step aside, Bond.

The climactic showdown with the villain takes place in a posh villa, a stark contrast to the underground lairs of classic Bond lore. Barbie, in a stunning gown, reveals her hidden gadgets, outsmarts the villain, and saves the day, proving that girls really do run the world.

After all, why settle for shaken, not stirred, when you can have it all pink and powerful? Barbie, meet Bond. Bond, meet Barbie. We think you two will get along just fine. Brace yourself, world, it is 2023 after all…!