Woke Bond: Amazon’s 007 Takeover Sparks Fan Fury
James Bond, the world’s most famous spy, has been at the center of heated debate ever since Amazon MGM Studios took creative control of the franchise. Long-time fans fear a “woke” reinvention of their beloved secret agent, with concerns that 007’s signature grit, charm, and womanizing ways could be watered down beyond recognition.
For decades, the Bond franchise was under the watchful eye of Barbara Broccoli and Michael G. Wilson, ensuring the character remained a suave yet dangerous figure who lived fast and played by his own rules, although the womanising Bond had already been diluted during the Daniel Craig era.
But with the Broccoli family’s reduced involvement, Amazon is now in charge of shaping Bond’s future. For some, this represents a bold new chapter, but for others, it’s an unsettling shift that could compromise the essence of the franchise.
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Outrage Over a ‘Woke’ James Bond
Social media platforms have erupted with protests over what some see as an inevitable politically correct overhaul. One X user predicted, “Bond franchise was dead the moment Amazon bought MGM.” Another declared, “Well, it’s going to be woke Bond now… terrible.”
The backlash hasn’t been subtle. As if controlling Amazon wasn’t enough, Jeff Bezos has now been unofficially crowned Bond’s arch-nemesis, with viral images depicting him as Blofeld—stroking a cat and, presumably, plotting to make MI6 eligible for the woke audience.
Some fans believe Amazon’s creative direction will strip away the character’s hard-edged appeal. “This is the absolute end. Gonna be a gay, trans Bond. The woke brigade won’t be able to help meddling,” wrote one particularly exasperated critic.
Meanwhile, another quipped, “Well, it happened. Amazon has, sadly, subsumed the James Bond franchise. Fortunately, we are licensed to rant.” And rant they did, but the internet’s crowning jewel of wit has to go to @neckstoosdy, whose “DEI Another Day” comment perfectly captured the spirit of the uproar. A pun so sharp it could cut through Q’s latest bulletproof tuxedo.
Welcome to the World of Woke Bond
So, with the internet roaring over it, let’s take a look at what a woke James Bond might actually look like? Perhaps our new 007 will refuse to drive an Aston Martin for environmental reasons, opting instead for a carbon-neutral e-scooter.
His martinis? Shaken, stirred, and sustainably sourced with oat milk. His love life? A series of deep, meaningful relationships based on mutual emotional growth rather than fleeting trysts. Sounds a bit Daniel Craigy anyway, no?
Of course, there’s the question of a female Bond. After all, we’ve already seen Lashana Lynch play a female 007, so why not go all the way? Perhaps Jane Bond will emerge—a fiercely independent woman who rejects all outdated spy tropes, preferring to outwit her enemies with an award-winning TED Talk.
Then there’s the question of inclusivity. A trans Bond? Why not! In the spirit of full representation, Bond could embrace a new identity, taking on the biggest and baddest Bond villains while championing gender inclusivity. Villains may still lurk in the shadows, but they’ll now be ordered to include their pronouns when introducing their evil schemes.
And of course, let’s not forget accessibility. A disabled Bond? Naturally. With MI6 providing the latest in adaptive spy tech, our new 007 might be rolling into action in a bulletproof, gadget-laden wheelchair that doubles as a high-speed escape vehicle. Car chases? No problem—his/her/they/them’s prosthetic leg doubles as a turbo booster.
Even Bond’s gadgets could get a modern twist—perhaps Q equips him with an eco-friendly smartwatch that only allows ethical hacking, or a weaponized reusable water bottle for self-defense. As for M? They’ll be rebranded as ‘Mx,’ ensuring that MI6 fosters an inclusive and equitable work environment.
Whether fans love or loathe the idea, one thing is certain: the next Bond film will be unlike anything we’ve seen before. The only question that remains is—will it still feel like Bond at all? Over to you, Mr Bezos!
